Last minute

So, my trip to Sri Lanka is scheduled for tomorrow! Yay! I'm taking a 14-day break from work, and honestly, I really need this time off. I'm feeling exhausted, and I also need to focus on preparing for my NCLEX exam. It's crucial for me, and I'm committed to putting in the effort.

Interestingly, Mr. Habeeb just mentioned the possibility of delaying my flight. He explained they need to go to India for a meeting, and it's on hold due to the issues with IGMH. He's waiting to see if I'll suggest postponing my trip. I didn't respond to that idea at all. Why would I make an impulsive suggestion when I don't feel valued here? I don't want to miss the chance to explore Sri Lanka and handle my U.S. visa.

If they had asked me a long time ago, I might have considered adjusting my plans. But asking last minute is unacceptable, and it doesn't seem fair to expect that kind of flexibility without proper notice.

I'm thrilled to be taking a few days off!

what's the updates

Just got word from Amila that Dr. Sebastian arrived yesterday from Germany to address the IGMH issue. It's a bit frustrating how my own company failed to keep me in the loop about the progress of the problem. A heads up would have been nice, considering I'm part of the team, right? LOL, Mr. Habeeb didn't even bother to have a chat with me about it. I sense he's upset, probably blaming me to some extent, and that's just not fair. I did my best, but the decision to switch IGMH to s-monovette was made without consulting me in the first place.

I'm well aware Mr. Habeeb isn't thrilled that I'm taking my leave, but honestly, I don't care. It seems like my input isn't valued here, so why should I bother? If they had asked, I might have considered delaying my leave, but dealing with this ego-centric management, especially Mr. Habeeb, doesn't make me eager to accommodate.

I've worked in different companies, and I must say, Naadu's management style is quite lackluster, or maybe it's just because I work closely with them. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something off, especially with Mr. Habeeb. Despite the challenges, working here has provided me with numerous learning opportunities—personally, interpersonally, and in my career. I'll always be grateful, except maybe for Mr. Habeeb, haha, and a 50/50 feeling for Ms. Yvonne, LOL. Their leadership style just doesn't sit well with me.

Another day of awkwardness

I'm feeling pretty awkward right now. It's like I'm this outsider in the office, and my boss is giving off this super chilly vibe. I get it—I'd rather not have a chat with him either, but the whole ignoring thing is messing with my comfort levels. He just walks past me like I'm invisible.

I wouldn't mind if he'd just fill me in on what's up with the s-monovette. Even in emails, he leaves me out of the loop, so I'm left clueless. A little heads-up or just letting me know what's going on would be awesome. It's tough feeling so out of the loop around here.

The level of professionalism in this company seems to have taken a nosedive, and it's genuinely frustrating.

I'm dealing with a serious case of laziness lately, especially when I'm stuck in the office. It's like a constant struggle to keep my eyes open and focus on anything. Life's throwing me a challenge, but I'm determined to laugh it off and come out on top—I've got my sights set on becoming a USRN and taking the Nclex exam.

Here's the thing—I'm pretty sure my boss thinks I'm just being lazy and not putting in any effort. But truth be told, I did reach out to Mr. Sameer to figure out what I'm supposed to do, even asking if I can swing by the alif dhal before taking off. I can almost hear my boss saying something about knowing responsibilities; at least, that's what he said last time. It's a bit funny how I jump to conclusions, but hey, maybe my boss is thinking along those lines too. Life's full of surprises, right? Hahaha but not surprise at all about this attitude

Expectations

Had lunch with Sasa today and, oops, spilled way too much about work—my stress, wanting to quit, even some not-so-great thoughts about my boss. I'm kind of kicking myself, not 'cause I don't trust Sasa, just maybe because I hit overshare mode too fast. Appreciated her advice, but maybe I should've eased into it.

And then, without thinking, I ended up telling Shah how down I've been and how I'm thinking of resigning. It hit me; we're not that close, and maybe I shouldn't have laid it all out like that. Seems I have this thing where I overshare my feelings, looking for validation, which isn't the best move. The cherry on top? No reply from Shah. Pretty embarrassing, and he could've at least said something.

Guess I need to slow down a bit and think before I spill the beans.

anywayat least something exciting happened today! My manager signed my Certificate of Employment (COE) for my US Visa application. However, the day was still marked by a cold attitude from my boss, which I didn't appreciate. Honestly, it's disheartening to experience such treatment as an employee, but I suppose that's just the way it is.

Life seems to be filled with expectations from others, and sometimes, I find myself expecting a lot from myself as well

Silent treatment

Alright, I'm currently experiencing the silent treatment from my boss, and it appears that he's not considering the well-being of his subordinates. I anticipated this, given his belief that he's superior to everyone. While I don't have expectations from him, it's still a bit awkward for me.

Now, the issue is that I'll be taking my leave this Sunday, and there hasn't been any discussion about the essential details I should be aware of. Additionally, I need to approach Mr. Sameer for a favor regarding the Certificate of Employment required for my US embassy application. The timing of these problems is quite ironic.

I'm mentally exhausted, and despite that, I need to allocate time to study for the Nclex. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm neglecting my goals and responsibilities. To be honest, I'm not sensing the urgency, and I find myself struggling to focus, feeling somewhat down.

If I didn't have ongoing plans, I might consider resigning immediately. However, I have to endure the situation and extract whatever I need from it.

Awkward

How awkward it is today— not a single word from Mr. Habeeb, LOL. I need him to at least talk to me about things I'm supposed to know, but nope! That's the essence of his leadership

Today

Right now, I'm a bit unsure if I should schedule the hospital visit before sorting out my leave because Mr. Habeeb isn't really talking to me. Even though he could've discussed things with me yesterday when Azard was around, he chose not to, and they had their conversation without involving me, which feels somewhat offensive. I knew there might be some hiccups, but I was hoping for a bit more professionalism. Honestly, I'm a bit lost about where I stand in the company at the moment.

So, Ragesh just hit me up asking what's going on, questioning why IGMH has only issued one P.O. I'm scratching my head wondering why people keep coming to me with these questions, making it seem like it's all on me. I don't have control over these clients, and it's not fair for them to assume I'm the one in charge. I've been thinking about handing in my resignation, but I've already got trips planned for this month and next February. If it weren't for those plans, I'd be tempted to tell them I'm ready to bounce.

He's here

My boss just returned from Germany, but I can't shake this negative vibe that surrounds him. There's something off about his entire demeanor. I wouldn't say I'm scared, but being around him gives me an eerie feeling. LOL

The issue in Sarstedt is still unresolved, and I'll be taking my leave by the end of this month. I sincerely hope that the ongoing problem there won't impact my upcoming plans. It's frustrating to consider that my leave might be at risk. Honestly, I'm not overly concerned about my position with the company. Whether they like me or not, LOL, I need to move forward. I've come to terms with the possibility of resigning next year, and that's perfectly fine with me. 😊

I'm just making the most of it

overacting Boss

So, my boss is kind of overreacting. I thought I was pretty clear in my email, you know? I'm just trying to get the green light for a follow-up, and the email was actually meant for his wife, not him in the first place. And, surprise, surprise, his wife already said no follow-up needed. So, why the need for another email telling me not to send a follow-up? It's a bit much, don't you think?

My old journal

Found an old journal entry from two years back. It's pretty weird how I'm going through similar tough times this month, but in a different year. Life is interesting, and writing in a journal can make you feel like you're time-traveling. its all about this Job hehe

Funny thing is, the problems I'm dealing with now are the same ones I faced two years ago. But on the bright side, it shows that I tackled those tough times back then and made it to where I am now, even though things haven't changed much.

Looking at it positively, it's like a journey where I faced challenges, won some battles, and ended up here. Even though things might feel worse now, being in this spot means I conquered those past issues.

Life is like a constant struggle. You win, lose, or sometimes it's a tie. Hoping one day I'll have a big win.

Did do wrong again?

How peculiar my boss can be? This company is incredibly disorganized. The last directive I received was to be proactive, and they specifically highlighted the NFT urine container as one of our best-selling items, instructing me to oversee its management.

Upon receiving feedback from a hospital regarding the sputum container, it turns out they using their old urine container as a sputum container as well before shifting to our product. Now, I find myself in a dilemma - should I make an immediate decision on this issue, risking the consequences of my response to the hospital? The sensible approach seems to be to give the hospital a heads up and inform them about the situation.

However, the irony is that I faced reprimand for being proactive. It's perplexing; I only aimed to address their concerns and act as if they wanted me to be proactive. Now, it seems like they can't handle straightforward communication. My manager even advised against sending the email, despite me informing him beforehand. The issue is, when the time comes and something goes wrong, he conveniently forgets my input as if I never raised any concerns, leaving my bosses with the impression that I took no action.

I'm at a loss for words with this management.

Seriously

This morning, I noticed a message from a colleague in our group chat. He was expressing confidence that the ongoing update to a specific department in the hospital was well-received, with no apparent issues related to his products. expectedly, my boss responded by thanking Azard for handling it. I couldn't help but feel disgusted by Azard's insensitivity, especially since he's aware of the challenges we're facing. Personally, I'm struggling with my own product in the laboratory due to the ongoing issues in that same hospital.

He essentially asserted that he can outperform me and is more dependable. I'm not in a competition with anyone; I'm simply striving to meet the company's expectations. However, what he did was seek validation from our boss, indirectly implying that I'm not performing well in my role. Whether he did it out of negative feelings or simply believed it was the right thing to do, he should have considered the potential repercussions. This could backfire on me, and I'm uncertain about how to react. I'm not angry, but I am disappointed.

I value his support, and he's a good friend, but I can't shake this feeling

I'm tired

Today was more stressful than I expected. I thought it would be easier since I had some time in the office after visiting the hospital. However, after responding to Ms. Fathun, another source of stress emerged. Managing the issue at IGMH and handling discussions with my bosses is mentally exhausting. I just want to rest, but even though I'm not feeling well mentally, I still need to take some time to review. I'm really tired.

This week

This week has been surprisingly chill because my boss decided to take a trip to Germany, leaving the island boss-free. But man, the ongoing drama at IGMH is still a major headache. The higher-ups are all caught up in it, spinning some crazy tales to tackle the problem.

It's wild how people can be so complicated, you know? Everyone's got their own motives, and it's a struggle to figure out if they're for real or just stirring the pot for their own gain.

Dealing with my bosses is a whole different level of complexity. I had this one experience that really got me thinking – people can totally forget all the hard work you've put in when they find a little something to pin on you.

And don't even get me started on my relationships with the folks around me – it's like a sitcom! Life and interactions with humans, man, it's a crazy rollercoaster.

Work Dynamic

Working with Azard has its moments. I mean, the guy's seriously reliable and super dedicated to his job, which is cool. But, you know, there are times when I feel he's a bit too eager. Like, he'd shoot off to report stuff to Habeeb without giving me a heads up, especially when it's about my accounts. It's like a surprise attack during meetings, and it hits me in the professional gut. Feels like my integrity's taking a hit, you know?

We teamed up recently for an observation plan at IGMH. Having some help was nice, but deep down, it felt a bit like a playful jab. I'm grateful for the support, but it makes me wonder if getting others involved hints at some dissatisfaction with my work. It's been a bit of a trend, and I can't help but question why they brought me in if they keep looking for alternatives. Sure, I'm getting paid, but it messes with my head, making me wonder how much they really value what I bring to the table. It's like a tug of war between feeling competent and questioning if I'm really fitting into their puzzle.

I'm not really upset with Azard; he's a good friend and a genuinely good person. It's just that I'm not perfect, and that's why I'm feeling this way.

Tipping point

My boss just shouted at me and publicly embarrassed me in the entire office. I feel incredibly small and humiliated as a result. He tends to be short-tempered, impatient, and very self-centered. I find it difficult to understand what he really wants from me. I acknowledge that the situation is frustrating, but placing all the blame on me and making it seem like I'm not putting in any effort is quite unacceptable.

I can't be held responsible for his ineffective leadership. If he's truly committed to finding a solution, he should be there with us, talking to the laboratory staff and hearing their concerns firsthand. Instead, he stays in the office, opting for Zoom meetings when he could meet with these key people face-to-face. His frustration being taken out on me is just not fair.

Well, I'm feeling happy and content, with a good laugh thrown in (LOL). I'm now coming to terms with the fact that this marks the initial step of my resignation process. Maybe this is a sign of divine redirection.

Resignation

 Haha, one of my recurring traits is that when I encounter inconvenience in my job, I often start searching for new opportunities and seek a better position. Today is one of those days, and I'm currently contemplating drafting my resignation letter to be prepared and hopeful for a brighter future. I'm definitely more than ready for a change, but I also want to ensure that everything aligns in my favor when I decide to make the leap.

My current job is among the best experiences I've had. I've learned so much, even discovering that I can accomplish things I never thought possible. I'm naturally introverted and shy, with a fear of speaking in front of large crowds. However, thanks to this job and the pressure it brings, I've been able to overcome those fears and realize that I can indeed handle it.

I'm eternally grateful to the company that initially accepted and placed trust in me. I've witnessed the growth of this company, even though I wasn't there from the very beginning and didn't witness every milestone. As much as I'd like to continue with the company, there's one aspect that I find extremely challenging, and that's my Sales Director. I feel that he tends to patronize each of us, or perhaps it's just his way of asserting his superiority. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of his leadership style.

From the outset, he hasn't been very direct with me. I recall an instance when I first joined, he was discussing something in the group chat that seemed directed at me, but instead, he addressed the message to someone else, making me feel as though I didn't exist. There have been numerous instances where his actions have left a sour taste in my mouth. While he did offer compliments in the past, I now feel like all the effort I've put into the company is going to waste.

I don't see him as an effective leader, and his sarcasm and unapproachability have made it even more challenging for me. Nevertheless, I apologize for my rant. Hopefully, when I look back on this journal, I'll be in a different place, far from the Maldives. LOL

Again

 I feel that whenever Azard shares something in the office, especially with our boss, he never thinks twice about the impression it may leave on the people involved in those instances. For instance, today I noticed that, perhaps out of thoughtlessness, he was discussing a problem in the lab at a particular hospital. I understand that his intention was to share what was happening in the lab, but the whole scenario ended up making me look bad in the eyes of our boss, who already has a negative perception of me.

He was discussing how the lab is using syringes for blood collection and explaining the high potassium levels, among other things. He didn't inform me about this before the meeting or try to justify my situation, such as making a statement that it's not my fault, but rather the fault of the staff and their choice of collection methods. I didn’t spend a considerable amount of time on that island, not only supervising the lab and the ward but also dealing with these stubborn people who can't be convinced to use the proper collection methods. Is it still my fault?

Since that incident, he has consistently portrayed me as less capable, although I admit that he's better than me and excels at his job. However, I hope he can at least show some consideration for me. If I eventually decide to leave this job, I sincerely wish that the company can find someone more capable in sales, client relationships, and proactivity than I am, as they claim that I’m not proactive at all. LOL.

Boss again!

My boss can be quite a handful when it comes to me. He constantly puts the blame on me and makes it seem like I'm ineffective. What's frustrating is that he doesn't even bother to consult with me or read the emails I've sent previously. Now, during our team huddle, he's painting me as disorganized.

I've had discussions about the handling process with them before, and they were the ones who opposed it initially. But now that I've brought it up again, he's implying that I should have been the one to raise it, which makes me feel like I'm not being thoughtful. As same as replacing the tube with plain serum, dealing with these particular people is really getting on my nerves.

I had already planned a trip to the island this month, but due to the office situation, I had to delay it. This boss is making me doubt my abilities in my role, as if I lack initiative. It's been a tough day trying to handle him. I did speak up a bit about the files I have and pointed out that they are already organized, despite his claims to the contrary.

If I had the choice, I would ask the Lord for more strength, courage, and wisdom to get through all of this.

Boss who?

How can my boss be so low and sarcastic? What's the difference between "much better" and "okay"? He asked me if the newly provided items are performing better compared to the current items that have been receiving complaints. I responded with "much better," and he said, "I would answer 'okay' or 'not okay."

What the heck! How could I reply like that when I simply conveyed what the client told me?

If only there were another option! LOL, your day will come too. One day, I might just disappear from all this nonsense and I can't wait to start a new life. LOL.

I've been expressing this sentiment all along! Hopefully, the universe will hear me out. #Manifesting

Hectic Day

I'm feeling incredibly tired today! I had to accompany Aromal to the Lab to collect the HbA1c samples, then return to the office to handle emails and requests for items from MHM. Following that, I had to rush to HMH, barely getting to enjoy my lunch. I also had to make a delivery back to IGMH, return to the office, and then back to IGMH once more to sign some documents and assist Ragesh with a money deposit. It's been an exceptionally hectic day, and I'm absolutely exhausted.

To add to the chaos, my bosses are here, and they're giving me another round of stress, hahaha. Honestly, just seeing them and feeling their vibes is mentally exhausting for me, hahaha. I can't help but wish for another option.

Give me space

Addy's a really nice guy I enjoy our conversations, but there are times when he talks waaay too much – it can be quite annoying, hahaha. Sometimes, he asks me for favors that he could easily handle himself, like going out to buy things for the office, and there's more, but I can't recall it all. It's not that I don't want to help, but it's often hot outside, and it ends up consuming a lot of my time, leaving me mentally exhausted. Overall, I just dislike the hassle it brings on my part.

The issue is definitely with me! Being an introvert, working in this company has genuinely worn me out, but I don't really have any other options.

Impatient

Why are the bosses always so impatient? It's baffling. I send them an email, and it's like they can't resist asking the same questions again and again. And then there's this other boss who had to call my manager to remind me about some details, which I'm actively working on. You'd think they could give me a moment to breathe.

To make it more amusing, my manager now says I can't go anywhere because there's a meeting on Tuesday. But the other day, my boss told me I could start traveling right away. It's like they're doing a comedy routine. They make me feel like they think I'm not up to the task, saying I'm not proactive, when all I'm doing is following their instructions. I'm at a loss for words, honestly. Haha!

 

You talked too much

My coworker across from me is quite the chatterbox, and I have to admit, it can get on my nerves sometimes. But, of course, I keep those feelings to myself – no need to be rude! It's just that, well, it seems like he doesn't quite catch the unspoken cues in our conversations, or maybe he's just playing it cool. I wish he'd tone down the talking or only strike up a conversation with me when it's genuinely important. Oh, and if I don't seem too chatty or my responses are short, it's probably because I'm not in the mood for small talk.

No brainer

 So, my boss just had a super serious chat with me about the importance of our urine collection product because it supposedly brings in the big bucks for Sarstedt. He made it sound like I should focus on it like it's some top-secret mission, but the kicker is, he didn't even mention we had it already, haha!

He was dead serious about me getting all proactive with it. But when you actually look at the product, it's essentially a cup with a syringe-like thing that lets you extract urine without even opening it. It's like, "Duh, how hard can it be?" I mean, the folks in the lab aren't rocket scientists, but they can figure this out without a manual. It's just hilarious how he's making it out to be this major deal, like he's seen a problem coming that I didn't even bother asking about.

He also insists I should do a training session on it because he's worried people in the lab won't know how to use it and might start complaining to the Ministry of Health. Seriously, I was trying not to burst out laughing, but I'm keeping a poker face because he's already called me out for giggling. He's just so particular and over-the-top, it's hard not to smile. I'll just keep in mind how funny it is to be so serious about something that's basically a no-brainer. Haha!

I'm at a loss for words when it comes to our management, especially our sales director. I've got to be honest; I'm not a fan of his. His attitude just doesn't sit right with me. He comes across as incredibly sarcastic, difficult to approach, and quite full of himself.

Product Specialist

Haha, well, today was quite the day. My boss finally had a chat with me about not being proactive in my job. The thing is, I had already seen this coming ever since I received an email from my other boss, who happens to be his wife, two days ago. So, I was mentally prepared for the conversation.

During our talk, I couldn't help but laugh to myself as my boss and manager discussed my performance. It was interesting to note that my boss kept avoiding eye contact with me, and instead, he focused on my manager. It felt a bit odd because, as the boss, you'd expect him to look at me while talking. His behavior made me question my competence in my role, especially since my initiatives had been constantly scrutinized by him, my manager, and even the accounting department.

I couldn't help but think that he was being a bit dishonest. He had told me not to go anywhere before because we were in the middle of converting the IGMH, and now he's claiming I'm not proactive? It feels like a bit of a contradiction, and it would be nice to get some credit for my efforts, at the very least.

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with my manager about needing to travel to another island for work. I was met with skepticism, and my boss sat right next to me, acting as if he didn't even hear my request. These kinds of situations can make me question the fairness of the management at times.

To be fair, my company isn't all bad, but experiences like these can definitely make me feel undervalued despite all the effort I put into my work.

I can't deny that my workload is relatively more relaxed, but they shouldn't fault me for being passive. Just the other day, I tried to be proactive by asking my boss about how to address the issue with IGMH, and he responded with a sarcastic question, asking me what I thought I should do. That's the kind of boss he is, and it left me chuckling, to be honest. 😄

Moreover, I sense that they are trying to place the blame on me for what's happening at IGMH. Perhaps they assume I didn't foresee this issue, but in reality, the fault lies with them. They rushed into the IGMH conversion without proper planning or consultation with me. They didn't consider tube sizes, conduct random tube testing, check the machinery, or even discuss foreseeable problems in the future beforehand. Now, they're questioning my abilities and my proactivity, which honestly makes me chuckle in my mind. 😄

Well, I've reached a point where I'm not letting it bother me anymore. I'll just go through the motions for documentation purposes. After all, I'm sticking with this job for the time being because I have bills to pay and plans to make. It sometimes feels like being a corporate pawn; they're in charge, and they won't even consider asking if I’m okay