Lunch

Hahaha wtf  I'm just trying to sneak a bite of what’s supposed to be my lunch, but I couldn’t wait and had to dig in early 😂. It’s just fried lumpia and rice, and I’m secretly munching away when Mr. Sameer walks by and goes, ‘Something smells kinda... off.’ 😳 I just sat there quietly, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about hahaha!

My old journal

Found an old journal entry from two years back. It's pretty weird how I'm going through similar tough times this month, but in a different year. Life is interesting, and writing in a journal can make you feel like you're time-traveling. its all about this Job hehe

Funny thing is, the problems I'm dealing with now are the same ones I faced two years ago. But on the bright side, it shows that I tackled those tough times back then and made it to where I am now, even though things haven't changed much.

Looking at it positively, it's like a journey where I faced challenges, won some battles, and ended up here. Even though things might feel worse now, being in this spot means I conquered those past issues.

Life is like a constant struggle. You win, lose, or sometimes it's a tie. Hoping one day I'll have a big win.

Product Specialist

Haha, well, today was quite the day. My boss finally had a chat with me about not being proactive in my job. The thing is, I had already seen this coming ever since I received an email from my other boss, who happens to be his wife, two days ago. So, I was mentally prepared for the conversation.

During our talk, I couldn't help but laugh to myself as my boss and manager discussed my performance. It was interesting to note that my boss kept avoiding eye contact with me, and instead, he focused on my manager. It felt a bit odd because, as the boss, you'd expect him to look at me while talking. His behavior made me question my competence in my role, especially since my initiatives had been constantly scrutinized by him, my manager, and even the accounting department.

I couldn't help but think that he was being a bit dishonest. He had told me not to go anywhere before because we were in the middle of converting the IGMH, and now he's claiming I'm not proactive? It feels like a bit of a contradiction, and it would be nice to get some credit for my efforts, at the very least.

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with my manager about needing to travel to another island for work. I was met with skepticism, and my boss sat right next to me, acting as if he didn't even hear my request. These kinds of situations can make me question the fairness of the management at times.

To be fair, my company isn't all bad, but experiences like these can definitely make me feel undervalued despite all the effort I put into my work.

I can't deny that my workload is relatively more relaxed, but they shouldn't fault me for being passive. Just the other day, I tried to be proactive by asking my boss about how to address the issue with IGMH, and he responded with a sarcastic question, asking me what I thought I should do. That's the kind of boss he is, and it left me chuckling, to be honest. 😄

Moreover, I sense that they are trying to place the blame on me for what's happening at IGMH. Perhaps they assume I didn't foresee this issue, but in reality, the fault lies with them. They rushed into the IGMH conversion without proper planning or consultation with me. They didn't consider tube sizes, conduct random tube testing, check the machinery, or even discuss foreseeable problems in the future beforehand. Now, they're questioning my abilities and my proactivity, which honestly makes me chuckle in my mind. 😄

Well, I've reached a point where I'm not letting it bother me anymore. I'll just go through the motions for documentation purposes. After all, I'm sticking with this job for the time being because I have bills to pay and plans to make. It sometimes feels like being a corporate pawn; they're in charge, and they won't even consider asking if I’m okay 

Unboxing

I was just scrolling through YouTube and stumbled upon a random unboxing video. The next thing I knew, I had this sudden urge to experience it for myself – unboxing those fancy, luxury items. Honestly, I felt a bit envious watching those videos, and I couldn't help but wonder what it's really like to have those beautiful things in hand. honestly, I'm really curious to know what it feels like. Would I be happy then?

And another thing, I’m thinking about that person on the screen, is she really happy showing her stuff? Maybe yes, that’s part of her job actually. But is she truly happy?

I was watching another video, and there was this woman who lost luggage worth 50 million pesos. It really hit me, like a reality check. It's almost a wake-up call to how humble my own possessions are. It got me thinking, if I had that kind of money, would it make me happy? Because what I have now is nowhere near what these people possess. Hehe

One thing I'm absolutely certain of is that I'm genuinely happy at this moment. My life is far from perfect, especially when compared to those who seem to have it all. I'm still battling my way through various challenges, fighting my own daily battles. I've got my fair share of rants about how life can be so unfair and tough, but you know what? I'm genuinely grateful to God because He's always been there for me, providing what I need. Hopefully, He'll continue to bless me even more. Lord, please let me experience some wealth too! 😄

Friday Dilemma

Well, here I am, stuck in the office on a Friday, and I can't help but wonder why in the world they asked me to come in today. I could easily handle these tasks with a simple email from the comfort of my home. I was really looking forward to a relaxing day off, and now I'm here. Sometimes, my boss's decisions just don't make sense.

On the bright side, being at the office is helping me stay focused on my work and study, without the constant temptation of my comfy bed right next to me.

Honestly, the ongoing issues at IGMH have been getting me down. I've been trying to plan my annual leave and prepare for the NCLEX exam in February, but it feels like the universe is throwing curveballs at me. This includes the potential delay in my trip to Sri Lanka for the US embassy interview. If the universe insists on messing with my plans, so be it. Maybe it's trying to teach me something or nudge me out of my comfort zone in the face of life's unexpected challenges. Life is really unpredictable hays.

All of this is driving me up the wall. I have no idea what would happen if IGMH decides to discontinue our product. It feels like all the hard work and effort I put into this project would go to waste, and I'd likely be the one taking the blame. I can't do anything if the administration doesn't want it.

I'm exhausted

I'm feeling incredibly stressed at the moment. I'm facing a challenging situation at IGMH, and there's this issue with false high potassium readings in the lab that has been causing a lot of commotion.

I'm on the brink of feeling overwhelmed. While I'd prefer not to be in constant motion, I have no choice. On top of that, I still need to study for the NCLEX, but I find myself procrastinating more than I should. I just wish I could take a long break from work. Although I do have moments of relaxation, my time keeps getting eaten up by various other things.

Then there's this person at IGMH who I feel is constantly causing problems regarding our product. I must admit, I strongly dislike her, even though I understand that she's just doing her job. What's really bothering me is her unrelenting focus on blaming our product. She's been making me feel agitated and exasperated. she's so wicked actually.

I'm eagerly anticipating the end of this situation. It's doubly frustrating because I also need to request leave at the end of November, and that's precisely when my US embassy interview is scheduled. Balancing both commitments and planning my holiday has become quite a challenge, and it's making me a bit stressed.

I can't emphasize enough how tough things have gotten. The lack of sleep is really getting to me, and it's as if my energy is just drained. It's like I'm stuck in this never-ending loop of studying, but I can't see much progress. This is actually my second go at it, and I'm crossing my fingers it's the last one. I'm just so worn out, both physically and mentally. The exhaustion is real, and it's taking a toll on my emotions too.

Dealing with Workplace Insensitivity and Frustration

Why are people so insensitive to others' feelings? Maybe it's nothing to them, but I feel attacked whenever he says something.

Context: Our customers sent a low purchase order compared to previous ones, which is somewhat unusual for the accounting department. However, this accountant constantly comes to me, making fun of it and throwing shade as if it's my fault. I understand it's meant as a joke, but doing it in front of our colleagues makes me feel attacked.

My position in the office has always felt awkward in terms of workload. Yes, I have a relatively relaxed atmosphere, but the responsibilities that weigh on me create a lot of internal pressure. Honestly, I don't know where I stand. I feel that my job isn't clear enough to others, which is why they make fun of me.

I've carried out my responsibilities as a product specialist and even played a role in sales. Why should it be my fault if the client sends a low purchase order? Does my effort imply that I didn't handle my work effectively? Should I be visiting them regularly for this? Why should it be my fault? LOL

It's somewhat amusing, but at the same time, it's genuinely annoying. These specific individuals really know how to get on my nerves every time.