under the weather

I’m not feeling well today. I started feeling off yesterday when I woke up with a strange sensation in my throat. I still went to the gym last night, but I almost tripped on the treadmill. Now I just feel really tired and heavy, and all I want to do is lie down. I would’ve taken a sick leave, but I’ve been waiting for the booking details from Germany. Hays.

The Art of Not Freezing Up

Yesterday, I kinda got scolded by my boss, LOL. I don’t know what it is, but every time he talks to me, I just freeze up. Words literally refuse to come out of my mouth. Honestly, I think he probably sees me as a bit dumb or something because I always end up mumbling. I get so self-conscious about what I say definitely not a good look for me, right? 😅

Anyway, what happened yesterday was about the unbooked hotel in Germany for the upcoming IGMH visit. First of all, I had no idea what kind of arrangement they had with the company in Germany or how this trip was planned. He wanted me to follow up on it with the Dubai office, which I did I asked Gladys about it and clearly told her my boss wanted an update on the unbooked days. I even worded my email carefully because I’ve learned from experience that when I just say things as told, it sometimes backfires and makes it look like it was my own idea. LOL.

So, the update came, and yeah, the last two days weren’t booked. Apparently, the company in Germany thought they were only supposed to handle part of the visit, not the whole trip. Meanwhile, my boss expected otherwise. Classic mix-up.

And honestly, I realized everyone around me is just playing safe. I didn’t mention the concern too directly in the email when Gladys asked me to send it, even though I’d already told her what my boss wanted to know. On the other hand, Gladys didn’t really ask Mr. Müller directly either or maybe she did, but he didn’t clarify things with the main office in Germany. 😂 And my boss too he could’ve just emailed Mr. Müller himself in the first place, but instead he waited for me to do it, and I obviously can’t control how fast people respond.

Anyway, when he found out about the hotel issue, he asked me about the departure date for the visit. I thought he meant the departure from the Maldives, but apparently, he was asking about the one from Germany. LOL. I couldn’t remember, so I said I forgot and that’s when he got really pissed. I don’t even remember what he said, but he was clearly frustrated.

So I just grabbed my laptop, checked the dates, and I think that’s when he realized he went a bit overboard. His tone changed suddenly he was calm again, talking like a normal, civil person. At that moment, I felt this weird warmth at the back of my head, like I just shrunk in my seat. I honestly felt so small. I know I should’ve remembered the details, but sometimes facing him is just… a whole struggle. LOL.

Really LOL

My boss said he might send me to Germany for the next visit with our client. I’m really hoping to get that kind of experience lol. When he said that, I just replied, “Well, that would be great, sir!” hahaha

Housemates

So my housemates told me that he’s hiring a cleaner apparently because Ate Marie kept nagging him about the house. She’s been complaining that she’s tired from work and still has to clean when she gets home. Honestly, I found that a bit petty and kind of ridiculous, lol. There are three of us living here, and most of the time I’m just in my room minding my own business. They’re the ones always hanging around in the common areas like the kitchen and the toilet. So I don’t really get why she’s making such a fuss when they’re the ones using those spaces more than I do.

Then this Bangladeshi guy my other housemate goes out of his way to tell me they’re hiring a cleaner, even asking if I want my room cleaned too. Like, what? Of course I said no. Why would I let someone clean my room when it’s not even that big to begin with? I can handle my own space, thank you.

Honestly, these two are so childish. They argue over the smallest things and act like it’s the end of the world. I clean the common areas whenever I feel like it the kitchen’s spotless if I’m the one using it, and I do clean the toilet sometimes too. But they expect me to scrub every corner of the house like I’m their maid. No way.

Besides, they’re always home! How am I supposed to clean properly when they’re constantly walking around? And honestly, I just don’t like cleaning when someone’s watching me, especially that Bangladeshi guy. He gives off this bossy vibe like he’s the one in charge of the house. It really gets under my skin sometimes.

And then, get this he casually mentioned that he paid the Nepali cleaning lady 1000 MVR. Like… okay? What exactly did he expect me to say to that? As if I’d offer to split the payment or something? No way. They can’t even handle a simple adult responsibility like cleaning up after themselves, and now they’re acting like it’s a whole life crisis.

Ate Marie, on the other hand, is such a diva for making this a big deal. She’s not even the cleanest one! Her stuff is always scattered around the toilet, and whenever they cook, she usually leaves all the mess in the morning, dishes, pans, everything. That’s why I can’t help but roll my eyes whenever it feels like she’s hinting that I don’t clean. Like, girl… if only she knew. I actually clean when they’re not around.  I use bleach on the floor, the sink, and even the table just to make things extra tidy.

Seriously, that woman and the dumb guy deserve each other always complaining, acting dramatic over the simplest things, and then trying to drag me into their nonsense.

Stepping Back

I saw Mike at the gym. Normally, I would’ve gone up to him and said hi, the usual thing I do since we’ve been such good friends. But this time, I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t want any close contact or even a casual conversation. To be honest, I’m not really mad at him, and I don’t even resent him that much. It’s just that I don’t feel like acting the way I usually would. Maybe it’s because of something I’ve realized about our friendship lately, I feel like I’ve been taken for granted, and that’s made me step back a little and question how much effort I want to put in. I mean, our friendship isn’t really that

complicated. We’ve always been lowkey, low-maintenance friends. we don’t need to talk all the time to be honest. But over the past few weeks, I’ve realized some things that made me feel a bit taken for granted, and that’s really all. I don’t blame him, and I can’t blame myself either. It’s just something I’ve noticed, and it’s made me step back a little.

Saturday

Today was okay a pretty chill Saturday. Even though I had to go to work, I didn’t really do much in the office. I got some stuff done, kind of, but it still felt relaxed. Maybe because our bosses weren’t around, the vibe in the office was just light and easy.

I read a few pages of the book I’m currently reading. I’m just trying to finish it little by little.

Canva

If I could work alone, I’d definitely do it. People expect me to produce perfect results when I’m literally just using Canva and honestly, what I made was decent. The content and message were there. I don’t know what more they want from me, but it’s beyond what I can do right now, and it’s really getting to me.

I just don’t want to work with people I don’t like. Our on-call graphic designer really pissed me off, I still feel upset whenever I remember what he did. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t work with him at all.

Obsession

Seriously, why are people so obsessed with my face and skin texture? You’re getting under my skin again. Why can’t people just be a little more sensitive? It feels like most of the people around me are just so clueless sometimes.  

Addy is always so involved and constantly giving unsolicited opinions. He always talks like he’s better than everyone else. I’ve never said anything offensive to him, yet he always manages to ruin my day. If I could avoid him, I absolutely would.

Lunch

Hahaha wtf  I'm just trying to sneak a bite of what’s supposed to be my lunch, but I couldn’t wait and had to dig in early 😂. It’s just fried lumpia and rice, and I’m secretly munching away when Mr. Sameer walks by and goes, ‘Something smells kinda... off.’ 😳 I just sat there quietly, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about hahaha!

Azan

Kinda feeling down because Azan might be going back to Sri Lanka soon. The management and co-management here have been pretty bad. I’m friends with both Azan and Ragesh, and honestly, sometimes I’m annoyed with both of them. I’ve known Ragesh for a long time and I know how he works. He’s a nice guy, but sometimes he can be a bit much when it comes to work, like he acts as if he owns the place. I get it, he’s the logistics head, but it wouldn’t hurt to be a little kinder to the people around him like he did yesterday to me, he bosses me around like I'm stupid.

The Nerve, The Nonsense, The Day

LOL, I seriously don’t get why they’re being so strict about the documentation. The customer was clearly in a hurry, already paid, and it’s obvious no one’s even going to bother processing that paperwork. Am I supposed to make the customer wait around just for the sake of a form? That’s not exactly practical. It’s frustrating when people who aren’t the ones actually dealing with the customer try to act like I’m the one not following the process. They don’t even see the situation firsthand, but they still have the nerve to say, “You can’t do that.” Like, really? Sometimes if there’s any inquiries I love to say it’s not available. LOL

And to make things worse, my day started off with my boss being sarcastic for no reason. He just randomly threw a question at me while I was focused on something else no context, nothing, well I should know it tho but give me sometimes to process the question but this guy is always in a hurry and expecting the answer right away when I can’t do that, and acted like I should’ve instantly known what he meant. It was so annoying. I’ve been trying to keep myself composed all day, but honestly it’s frustrating and I wanna say a lot of bad words

How Selfish

Honestly, I’m beyond frustrated at this point. I’ve been trying to stay calm and professional, but dealing with this colleague who somehow manages to make everything ten times more complicated than it needs to be has really pushed me to my limit. What’s even more infuriating is that this entire issue wasn’t even supposed to be my responsibility in the first place. I only got pulled into it because I’m the one directly communicating with the client, and naturally, I want to make sure things go as smoothly and professionally as possible.

The thing is, I already understand how the sponsorship process works. He actually explained it to me the other day but why only now? That should’ve been discussed way earlier. We’re talking weeks ago. I even sent an email weeks back to get clarity on the sponsorship, trying to be proactive, and not once did he bother to mention that I needed to prepare a specific letter for documentation. Instead, he only brings it up now at the last minute when it’s already too late to do anything about it. Like seriously, how is that even fair?

And you know what makes it worse? I’m the one facing the client. I’m supposed to represent the company for future transaction, but how can I do that when I'm kept out of the loop? I don’t want the client to feel like we’re being dismissive or disorganized, because that's not how I work. But how do I face them properly when I myself wasn’t even given the right information on time?

Amila, God, he just gets under my skin. The way he acts, it’s like he couldn’t care less about helping or supporting anyone outside of his immediate tasks. It comes off as so selfish. I get that he doesn’t want to be too involved in anything that touches finances, and I respect that boundary, but come on would it kill him to communicate? To give me a quick heads-up? To say, "Hey, you’ll need to do this and that" while there’s still time to actually act on it?

He had the details way before I did. He knew what was needed. And let’s be real here printing a letter, getting it signed, and placing it on someone’s desk for approval is literally part of his job as someone in the accounting department. That’s not a favor, that’s just basic responsibility. But instead, he lets things sit until the last minute and somehow expects others me to scramble and pick up the slack. I don’t mind doing it but at least remind me to do it, not waiting for you to initiate.

It’s not just about this one thing it’s the pattern. The constant lack of initiative, the unwillingness to help unless it directly affects him, the poor communication... it's exhausting. I’m doing my best to be a team player, but it’s really hard to feel like a team when the support isn’t mutual. I don’t mind stepping up when it’s needed, but I absolutely mind being set up to fail when this all could have been avoided with the smallest bit of effort from his end.

more days please

Kinda gloomy since yesterday—my boss just got back from vacation, and I’m feeling so down. Hahaha. I don’t know why, but his vibe just makes me so stressed and sad. LOL, my cortisol levels are shaking to their core! 

just push the door girl

 The lady in the other office is something else. Why does she expect me to open the door for her every time? She can easily push it open after unlocking it. It's a bit annoying, especially since she's capable of doing it herself.

Really?

I don’t appreciate it when the guy in front of me waves to get my attention just to point out something I need to do—especially when it’s not even my responsibility in the first place. I find it offensive, as if he’s assuming I’m not paying attention to my surroundings, when in fact, I am. I’m just waiting for him to ask me directly instead of assuming that I’m responsible for a task that isn’t mine to begin with. Heshan is really getting on my nerves. He’s done this so many times already, and it’s really starting to piss me off.

Housemates

 I’m so annoyed with my housemates, especially the guy from Bangladesh. Every time we encounter each other in the common areas, he really gets on my nerves. I try to avoid making any small talk with him as much as possible.

As for Ate Marie, ever since she came back from the holidays, I’ve noticed how frequently the door is being slammed loudly. It’s such an unrefined habit. Every time they close the door, it’s done in such a noisy way.

How can this guy just ask me out of nowhere if there’s any painting that needs to be done in my room? Seriously, asking me on the spot without any prior notice is so inconsiderate. If something needs to be done, they could at least inform me ahead of time so I can arrange my things properly. Instead, he expects me to move my stuff immediately just because he says so.

I’m reminded of the time he asked me to switch my bed to a bunk bed right after I returned from my holiday. It was such poor timing—he didn’t even consider how exhausting it is to travel back to the Maldives from Manila. Ate Marie knows how draining that trip can be. On top of that, I was left to fix the bulky bed by myself without any help. This Bangladesh guy is so rude and thoughtless

If moving out wasn’t such a hassle and if I could find another place just as affordable, I would have made the decision to leave a long time ago

Unrealistic Expectations of My Role

 It’s frustrating when people expect me to diagnose others in the office as if it’s my responsibility. Yes, I’m a nurse, but I’m not currently practicing, and I’m not even licensed here. Asking me to do things I’m not supposed to do, while expecting me to know everything, is completely unrealistic

you asked me?

Why does my boss keep delegating tasks to me when they could handle them right away themselves? In the end, they still make a call to confirm the task anyway. It feels like unnecessary delegation.

Addressing Unfair Complaints

Wow, it’s surprising to hear complaints about something you specifically asked me to do, especially since it’s not even part of my job. Besides, I confirmed with you beforehand about what needed to be done, and you instructed me to delete the cells that weren’t included in the Excel file. My point is, why complain and then deliberately state that it’s now double the work for you?

Mixed Feelings About New Year's with teammates

Spending New Year's with coworkers isn’t exactly my idea of fun, but I don’t have much of a choice. Honestly, they could have given us time off or even a monetary bonus instead. Of course, I can’t really complain or say this out loud—it would probably come across as ungrateful. Lol.