Proactive

I'm really feeling down at the moment. I received an email from one of my bosses, and they basically told me that I'm not doing well in my role as a product specialist. They said that being proactive is a part of my job, and it felt like a direct criticism. I already had a sense that they might think I'm not proactive enough, but I genuinely thought I was doing my best.

I'm not sure what to do next. Every time I suggest something, there seems to be a roadblock. If I propose going to the island for work, someone always objects, and when I bring up additional training, my boss questions its necessity due to the island's small population. Even my expenses get closely examined when I want to visit the island. It's really frustrating, and I'm not sure where I stand in all of this.

I've tried talking and reasoning with my superiors, but it seems like I may have to let this issue go for now. I'm really hoping for a chance to leave this place soon. I'm praying hard for a change.

Does this make me feel inadequate? Yes, definitely. I truly believe this is more of an administrative problem and doesn't reflect my actual work performance.

Talkative

 I have this one colleague who talks excessively every day. He keeps talking to me, even when I'm busy or not really in the mood for small talk. He opens topics that I find uninteresting, like his family, the food he's eaten, what he does, and more topics you can think of. I'm naturally passive when it comes to communication and talking because I find it challenging to think of the right words to use when speaking in English, and it's mentally exhausting to compose sentences in my mind. Hahaha.

I simply prefer to focus on my own tasks without being interrupted, just as I never initiate a conversation with them. I've constantly struggled when this person sits in front of me. I don't want to be rude and completely ignore him, but I do tend to have a rather neutral expression on my face to subtly convey that I'm not particularly interested. However, it seems this person is oblivious to these cues and continues talking.

Sometimes I wonder if he has a fixation on excessive talking, perhaps stemming from some form of neglect during his early years that might explain why he behaves this way.  

What a smell

I am quite particular about odors in general, and I tend to form judgments based on how people smell. I'm not claiming to be the neatest person, but a strong unpleasant odor really puts me off. Yesterday, one of my colleagues had a particularly strange and unpleasant smell. It's hard to describe, but it wasn't your typical bad odor; it was something distinctly foul. I've encountered a similar smell once with one of my housemates and even a random person at the grocery store. It had a kind of wet, rotting fish-like quality to it.

I've been pondering why some people have a bad smell. Are they aware of it? Do their close friends and family notice it as well? Are they somehow immune to their own scent, or do they just not care? Living in a different place with people of various nationalities has made me more sensitive to different perspectives. I have to be careful with my words, as being too straightforward could hurt someone's feelings. As much as I'd like to be honest or at least drop a hint, it can be quite hurtful.

What's amusing is that the same person with the unpleasant smell is the one who often points out things about me, like if I have a new pimple or a cold. He teases me, suggesting absurd reasons for my pimple, like I got it from making out to different people as if pimples were contagious. He enjoys making these playful jabs, and I know he doesn't mean any harm, but it makes me wonder, what if I did the same thing to him?

It's fascinating how people can be so perceptive about others while being seemingly unaware of themselves. It's strange how some individuals can be incredibly straightforward, something I find challenging to do myself.

World Peace

The ongoing conflict in Israel and Palestine makes me reflect on how our world has come to this point. Coexistence is challenging, and I recognize the complexity of this historical conflict.

It's heartbreaking that so many lives are affected by this conflict. People are suffering in Gaza, and there are casualties in Israel. It's difficult to comprehend why this is happening.

Witnessing the resilience of children in Gaza and the loss of life in Israel is sobering. My fervent wish is for world peace, a cliché perhaps, but a powerful aspiration. I hope for a resolution similar to that seen in the situation between Ukraine and Russia.

I sincerely hope for a swift end to this conflict, with no more lives lost. Our world is meant for happiness, and this war is taking a toll on our planet. The long-lasting effects of hatred, trauma, and a cycle of revenge are concerning for future generations.

Boss

I just had a talk with my boss about the issues we're dealing with at IGMH. I'll admit, I'm usually a bit on the timid side and lack some confidence, while my boss is the complete opposite – loud, direct, sometimes intimidating, and can be quite sarcastic.

Even though I'm not one to speak up often, I decided to be proactive this morning and asked him how we could address the Sarstedt case and the situation at IGMH. I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help, or at least chip in somehow. However, his response was pretty dismissive and sarcastic. He asked, "What will you do?" in a way that made it clear he wasn't particularly interested in my input.

Haha, sometimes I can't help but think about how frustrating it is. Why does the boss have to be so intimidating and constantly act like such a tough taskmaster? It can be really tough to handle and even wishing him to be stranded somewhere far away from me.

Now, I'm uncertain about my leave, and I'm not sure if I can take it while needing to plan for my Nclex exam as well. It's quite frustrating, to be honest

Unboxing

I was just scrolling through YouTube and stumbled upon a random unboxing video. The next thing I knew, I had this sudden urge to experience it for myself – unboxing those fancy, luxury items. Honestly, I felt a bit envious watching those videos, and I couldn't help but wonder what it's really like to have those beautiful things in hand. honestly, I'm really curious to know what it feels like. Would I be happy then?

And another thing, I’m thinking about that person on the screen, is she really happy showing her stuff? Maybe yes, that’s part of her job actually. But is she truly happy?

I was watching another video, and there was this woman who lost luggage worth 50 million pesos. It really hit me, like a reality check. It's almost a wake-up call to how humble my own possessions are. It got me thinking, if I had that kind of money, would it make me happy? Because what I have now is nowhere near what these people possess. Hehe

One thing I'm absolutely certain of is that I'm genuinely happy at this moment. My life is far from perfect, especially when compared to those who seem to have it all. I'm still battling my way through various challenges, fighting my own daily battles. I've got my fair share of rants about how life can be so unfair and tough, but you know what? I'm genuinely grateful to God because He's always been there for me, providing what I need. Hopefully, He'll continue to bless me even more. Lord, please let me experience some wealth too! 😄

Complexity of love

You know, love is just one of those things that can be so incredibly complicated, don't you think? I mean, that's just my perspective based on my own experiences and what I've seen in the people around me. It always strikes me how fortunate those folks are who actually find their true love. It's like a mix of bravery, a stroke of luck, and this feeling that it's somehow meant to be for them. I've often wondered what it's like to be in love and to have someone love you back because, honestly, I'm not entirely sure I've truly felt it myself.

You know, people have this habit of asking me why I haven't found someone, and it honestly gets on my nerves. Even if it's meant as a joke, it makes me wonder why folks feel the need to question my life or anyone’s life like they've got it all figured out or know my preferences.

The thing is, I have my own reasons, and even if they might seem a bit superficial to some, but we all have our own unique stories and journeys that lead us to the reasoning we hold, right? I've got this feeling that being in a relationship is a significant responsibility, one that I might not be emotionally or financially prepared for just yet. The real question is; how long will I continue to feel like this?

I've got this friend, and she has this habit of getting into relationships with people who are either emotionally unstable or already committed to someone else. Now, it might sound morally questionable to be involved with someone who's married, but can we really pass judgment? It's a tricky situation, I must say. She's my friend, and I do understand her circumstances, though I also make it clear that I don't approve of her choices and It's quite a complicated dynamic, isn't it?

I've been thinking about our conversation earlier, and it seems like she's experiencing a touch of jealousy when it comes to this guy's real family. Even though she might not be all that serious about him, it's clear she's already developed an emotional attachment. All I can really do is be there for her, cheer her up, and made her realized the consequences LOL

Friday Dilemma

Well, here I am, stuck in the office on a Friday, and I can't help but wonder why in the world they asked me to come in today. I could easily handle these tasks with a simple email from the comfort of my home. I was really looking forward to a relaxing day off, and now I'm here. Sometimes, my boss's decisions just don't make sense.

On the bright side, being at the office is helping me stay focused on my work and study, without the constant temptation of my comfy bed right next to me.

Honestly, the ongoing issues at IGMH have been getting me down. I've been trying to plan my annual leave and prepare for the NCLEX exam in February, but it feels like the universe is throwing curveballs at me. This includes the potential delay in my trip to Sri Lanka for the US embassy interview. If the universe insists on messing with my plans, so be it. Maybe it's trying to teach me something or nudge me out of my comfort zone in the face of life's unexpected challenges. Life is really unpredictable hays.

All of this is driving me up the wall. I have no idea what would happen if IGMH decides to discontinue our product. It feels like all the hard work and effort I put into this project would go to waste, and I'd likely be the one taking the blame. I can't do anything if the administration doesn't want it.

I'm exhausted

I'm feeling incredibly stressed at the moment. I'm facing a challenging situation at IGMH, and there's this issue with false high potassium readings in the lab that has been causing a lot of commotion.

I'm on the brink of feeling overwhelmed. While I'd prefer not to be in constant motion, I have no choice. On top of that, I still need to study for the NCLEX, but I find myself procrastinating more than I should. I just wish I could take a long break from work. Although I do have moments of relaxation, my time keeps getting eaten up by various other things.

Then there's this person at IGMH who I feel is constantly causing problems regarding our product. I must admit, I strongly dislike her, even though I understand that she's just doing her job. What's really bothering me is her unrelenting focus on blaming our product. She's been making me feel agitated and exasperated. she's so wicked actually.

I'm eagerly anticipating the end of this situation. It's doubly frustrating because I also need to request leave at the end of November, and that's precisely when my US embassy interview is scheduled. Balancing both commitments and planning my holiday has become quite a challenge, and it's making me a bit stressed.

I can't emphasize enough how tough things have gotten. The lack of sleep is really getting to me, and it's as if my energy is just drained. It's like I'm stuck in this never-ending loop of studying, but I can't see much progress. This is actually my second go at it, and I'm crossing my fingers it's the last one. I'm just so worn out, both physically and mentally. The exhaustion is real, and it's taking a toll on my emotions too.

Dealing with Workplace Insensitivity and Frustration

Why are people so insensitive to others' feelings? Maybe it's nothing to them, but I feel attacked whenever he says something.

Context: Our customers sent a low purchase order compared to previous ones, which is somewhat unusual for the accounting department. However, this accountant constantly comes to me, making fun of it and throwing shade as if it's my fault. I understand it's meant as a joke, but doing it in front of our colleagues makes me feel attacked.

My position in the office has always felt awkward in terms of workload. Yes, I have a relatively relaxed atmosphere, but the responsibilities that weigh on me create a lot of internal pressure. Honestly, I don't know where I stand. I feel that my job isn't clear enough to others, which is why they make fun of me.

I've carried out my responsibilities as a product specialist and even played a role in sales. Why should it be my fault if the client sends a low purchase order? Does my effort imply that I didn't handle my work effectively? Should I be visiting them regularly for this? Why should it be my fault? LOL

It's somewhat amusing, but at the same time, it's genuinely annoying. These specific individuals really know how to get on my nerves every time.